Thursday, January 9, 2014

Confession Time: I Don't Love Babies.

Sorry I'm not sorry, but I don't care about that picture of your cute baby.

I realize I'm in the minority here, but every time someone goes to show me a picture of their cherubic child/cousin/sibling/infant they babysit, I have to awkwardly make "aww" noises and pretend I'm as into babies as they are. Well, this is me officially absolving myself, and all the women like me, of this duty.

She's cute, but I would probably geek out more over a picture of a cute puppy.
As a woman, you are expected to like babies. Something about DNA and maternal instincts and all that jazz. If you don't, here are some responses you can expect:

"Oh, it's just because you're young. Just wait, in a few years you'll be dying to have a baby!"

"But isn't *insert baby picture put in your face here* cute?"

"You'll change your mind once you get married and settle down."

There seems to be a serious resistance from the general population to accept the fact that not all women find infants to be cute and adorable, and GASP, some women don't want one of their very own. I don't have anything against babies, but I also don't feel that warm and fuzzy feeling inside that I'm told I'm supposed to get when I'm around them. Even babies who are incredibly well-behaved and don't cry all the time just don't really do anything for me. And if you feel the same way, that's okay. Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't.

My aversion to tiny humans has become kind of a running joke with my friends and family. Once, while watching Alvin & The Chipmunks with my mom, I cursed the fact that you can't have a family of talking chipmunks instead of kids. I'm warming up to the babies in my own family that I see from time to time, and they are cute, I'll admit that much. It's just that I'm not rushing to become a nanny or hurry up and have my own kids. I don't know if I ever will, and that's a decision that's entirely my own.

If you are one of the majority, who oohs and aahs over every baby shoe and Anne Geddes picture, good on you. You clearly have that maternal instinct that I missed the line for. Go have a dozen kids and dress them impeccably and post five photos of them a day on Facebook. All I ask is that you don't make us non-baby-lovers feel weird about who we are. Whether or not to have children is a choice that is entirely personal, and one that should be made without the pressure of friends and family to do the "normal" or "traditional" thing.

Now THIS gets me.
Who knows, maybe on day I'll look back on this post as I hold my chubby infant in my arms and think: Wow, I was so young. Glad I changed my mind! But there is also the distinct possibility that I will settle down with a writing career, a man with a beard, and some corgis and be just as happy as anyone else. And either one of those futures is perfectly acceptable.

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