Wednesday, April 30, 2014

12 Signs You're Deeply Single

I'm the perpetually single friend. At this point, I'd say I'm pretty much an expert at the relationship-free life. With the exception of one long-term relationship, I have generally preferred being by myself. Besides, I haven't met anyone yet who can handle my unparalleled mix of melodrama and dry humor. I'll be the first person to tell you: being single can be really great if you embrace it. 

Whether you're single by choice or because you're having trouble finding Mr. Right, here's a few truths I've found to be self-evident in my many years of singledom. Viva la single life.

1. You will, at some point, get way too excited about the "meals for one" at the grocery store. So convenient!

2. Your best friends will probably become your pseudo-significant others. My date for both Valentine's Day and my sorority formal were my roommate.

3. You will maybe listen to a lot of One Direction and have your fair share of inappropriate thoughts about Harry Styles.

4. You'll scoff when you hear your friends complaining about their relationship troubles. Your mental boyfriend Harry Styles would never play you like that.

5. Whether you want a boyfriend or not, you'll probably try Tinder or OkCupid. It'll be really exciting for like a week, tops.

6. Binge-watching TV shows may become a full-blown hobby that you secretly love.

7. Wine will usually be involved in said binge watching sessions.

8. You start to resent the characters on those TV shows: in real life, you don't usually bump into cute, employed men in elevators or coffee shops. Thanks for lying to me, TV.
9. You start to convince yourself that an ex wasn't really so bad. (Pro tip: he was.)

10. You will listen to a lot of Taylor Swift.

11. You will wear really big sweatpants and a lot of top knots while you listen to Taylor Swift.

12. And if you're me, you eat a lot of calzones and form a serious relationship with the cast of Law and Order: SVU.

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