Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The 5 Phases of Moving Back in with your Parents

As almost any college student knows, summer can be a cruel time. As excited as you were for the stress of the semester to end and warm weather to finally appear, the prospect of leaving your independent college life to move back in with the parents sucks. Here's a scientific guide to the roller-coaster of emotions you'll experience.

Phase One: mind-numbing boredom
As college wears on, more and more friends will be spending their summers at internships and on volunteer trips. That leaves you stuck at home with fewer social prospects than ever. Side effects of this phase include, but are not limited to: excessive binge watching of TLC marathons and/or crime shows, the start and ultimate abandonment of new hobbies like knitting or cake decorating, shame sing-alongs to High School Musical, inadvertent obsession with beauty YouTube tutorials.

Phase Two: appreciation
At some (very brief but albeit important) point, you'll secretly love having your mom do your laundry and not having to pay for gas or rent. Your bank account is almost as full as the fridge is full of snacks, both of which are miraculous.

Phase Three: bitterness
It's only a matter of time before cohabitation with your parents begins to irk you–– there's a reason people usually leave the nest after 18. Why does your dad have to monopolize the living room TV with golf shows? Why does your mom care if you make your bed?

Phase Four: denial
This is the part where you convince yourself that your social life doesn't have to suffer just because you're living with mom and dad. This phase results in a lot of unfortunate hangovers where your mom wakes you up at 7 AM to see if you want to go grocery shopping with her. And the ever-awkward "I can't really bring a romantic interest back to my parent's house" dilemma.

Phase Five: acceptance
At some point, you'll give up, drink a lot of wine, and start counting the days until you move back out. Everything is temporary, right?

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